Happiness and Tragedy

Last month we welcomed 2 new additions to the family. Two of my cousins had baby boys. Here's their pics!








The one on the left is Jonathan and the one with all the hair (amazing amount!) is named Malik. Atara, Malik's mom has had a very tough life, but despite all the hardships she has endured she finally found Malik who truly loves and cares for her, and as a result we have this little cutie! All of us are very happy for her and Malik Sr. and are excited about their futures.

The same could be said for Kimmy as well. She and Steve have been together for about 8 years and had 3 kids together. While life has been tough and they aren't where they want to be yet, they have it pretty good as a family. Everyone knows how good a mother Kimmy is and how she lives for these kids. Today however, everything changed for Kimmy, Steve and the kids. I don't know all the details yet, but at some point Kimmy found Jonathan had passed away this morning. It's looking like SIDS right now, but the authorities in MA will be doing an autopsy to determine what may have happened.

In the meantime, the family has been devastated in more than one way today. DCS removed the other two boys from the home today. They are ages 4 and 2. No one understands why this happened as it makes no sense at all. So, Kimmy's Mom went about trying to gain custody of the boys during the investigation period so they would be with family. She was able to do so, but with some limitations. Kimmy and Steve are not allowed anywhere near them for the next 72 hours. So neither of them can go to the family home with the rest of the family for support. In fact, neither are allowed in their home right now either. To add a whole new level of ridiculous to the situation Joe (Kim's Dad) is not allowed in his own home with the family until he clears up a case from when he was 10 yrs. old. Joe is about 42 years old.

When he was 10, there was some altercation where a kid wouldn't get off a bike and Joe shot a BB gun at him. Since then, model citizen and no repeats of the BB affair. Apparently, the case was never closed and so DCS says until it is he can't go home. So, he goes to court in the morning to get it closed.

It's bad enough that this happened in the first place, but without any evidence of homicide whatsoever, a family is torn apart during the darkest hours of their lives. It is shameful, cruel, and unconscionable. What about the other two boys...? How do they feel with strangers taking them away... not being able to see their parents and now not understanding why everything has been turned upside down?

I know some may say this is a reaction to so many high profile cases where the system failed other kids. And in my head I can understand that response. However, there were signs in those cases where kids were at risk. None in this situation. While resources are being expended on a case where at this point I know of no evidence to support any allegation of risk, other kids at risk aren't getting the support. I just don't know. It doesn't seem right to me.

Please say a prayer for Jonathan, Kimmy, Steve and the boys. They really need it right now.

Maine 2009

Okay, so here's a few shots from our recent return to home in Bangor, Maine. We did the traditional annual lobster quest down in Trenton at Lunt's Lobster Pound. Aunnie and I each had a 2 lb. lobster, and it was GOOD! I made it back to my church on a visit and got a nice shot of the glass as you enter the church on your left. The house you see is the one I grew up in before we moved to Norfolk St.. It is still the one I dream about when I dream about being home. The coastal pictures were taken down in Bar Harbor on my iPhone. In fact, all the pictures were taken on my iPhone.

The table is one my dad made by hand, sanding by hand for hours. It is made out of various parts of a wooden pallet. I've got some more pictures of other things he's made to show you later.

Of course, on the way up we had to stop at LL Bean's in Freeport, ME. Always a nice break from the road. Got a windbreaker there and we got a cooler for our road trips. Would have loved to get yet another bag, but I think Aunnie would have killed me. LOL. Since we were there close to dinner time, we stopped at McGritty's Pub down the road from L.L. Bean's. It's actually closer the end where you get on the interstate. Anyhow, if you find yourself up in that neck of the woods, make sure you stop by. I had the lobster mac n' cheese with fried jalapenos on top. While that may sound counter-intuitive I have to tell you it was fabulous. Big chunks of lobster, and the jalapenos were not hot, but more tangy. It was really a treat. Then of course that was followed by the strawberry rhubarb crisp. Yummy. It was really nice to get home again.

Fighting the Cancer Battle- Courageous Choices

Just in case anyone thinks I mean myself with this title, I don't. As far as I am aware, I do not have cancer. Okay, now that that is straight, let's move on. (My Mom should feel a lot better now.)

I don't normally post things about Celebrities' and their health issues, but this one strikes home a bit. Years ago, when I first saw "Red Dawn" I had an instant crush on Patrick Swayze. Later when we all saw him and Jennifer Grey in "Dirty Dancing" well, that was also crush inspiring. So what does that have to do with posting an article on Swayze nowadays? Well, the man is made of steel.

Over the almost 20 years of my being a nurse (yikes!) I have had the privilege of taking care of many stricken with cancer. In my opinion some of the worst cancers are the head and neck cancers. If you survive the cancers with therapy, people are often left very disfigured and altered for life. Not too mention there is a high rate of relapse with these cancers. And most of those I saw literally lost their voice to laryngeal cancer. Cancer is painful at several points along the way, and in many ways.

There is much discussion out there about the alternative modalities that can help people survive cancer. In my head, I keep thinking he is in the beginning stages of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's stages of dying. His sheer determination to stick with the fight and not go further is really quite amazing. Filming without taking pain medication for what I am sure is absolutely excruciating pain makes this even more impressive. What we are seeing now is some recognition that he may actually not live much longer. But what is impressive about this is that instead of looking at a win as beating cancer, he is looking at how he isn't going to let the cancer beat his quality of life.

So many times over the years not too mention currently, I have seen family members and patients when faced with almost certain death due to disease, make choices to keep fighting despite what that means to the quality of life they may have in the time that they have. Everyone has to decide what is right for them, so I am not judging these choices. However, I do find it especially courageous when someone continues to fight, but, also considers what kind of time they want left not just how much time.

I have seen this in my own family. In the past few years, we have lost two of my uncles to cancer. One was the eldest and the other the youngest in a family of 5 kids. My uncle Hilton lived with what he was told was a "slow cancer of the colon" for quite a while. And he and my aunt Laurie had a wonderful life together until the end. My uncle Jimmy the youngest, died at 57 of Melanoma. He found out at the beginning of the year he had it, and then did everything he could to beat it but was dead only a few months later. However, due to the aggressive treatments (and it my mind too aggressive) he died in a lot of pain despite so-called pain management, and unable to really enjoy what time he had left. But if you knew my uncle Jimmy, this was much like his time on this earth. He had more ups and downs then most people I know. But I digress.

So what's the point in all of the previous? What has inspired me to write today? Well, I'm not entirely sure. It is inspiring to see people make courageous choices. I'm fortunate to be in a profession where we see that a lot. Okay, so maybe it's a lingering crush from my adolescent years. More than likely though, it's the hopeless romantic in me that sees the romance between Swayze and his wife and it reminds me of my uncles and their loves. Either way, it is an epic story of life, love, and a courageous battle in the face of certain defeat. Who couldn't go for that?

Be inspired. Live your own epic story. Be courageous in your choices. Your example can make the difference for others.

"We are not here to see through one another, but to see one another through"--Unk.

Patrick Swayze Dispels 'Reckless Reports' of Death By Radio Station - ABC News

Patrick Swayze Dispels 'Reckless Reports' of Death By Radio Station - ABC News

Shared via AddThis

Ayuh...Mainers Stand Their Ground!

Here's the story link: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090717/ap_on_re_us/us_disappearing_mailboxes


I have to give kudos to my fellow Mainers in Otisfield, ME for taking on the "tyranny" of the USPS. Here's a small town of a few thousand people who have a singular mailbox for the town's use and the USPS wants to take it away. This town doesn't have its own zip code, nor does it have a Post Office. The nearest mailbox is miles away.

There is a town mailbox a few feet away from the standard public mailbox. Residents of Otisfield don't want the mailbox removed because curbside mailboxes are often taken out by snowplows and vandals so it is an unreliable route at best, to get mail out.

People were prepared to chain themselves to the box to keep it. The road commissioner even put heavy machinery around it at night to prevent a late night removal. That brings a whole new meaning to the old phrase... "you can't there from here".

Kudos, Otisfield!

Prisoner Not Allowed to read Obama's books

Here's the story link: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090709/ap_on_re_us/us_supermax_obama_s_books

What I don't understand is this: if there is a national security threat by allowing this convicted Al Queda member to read the books, then is there not a national security threat for anyone else to read them on the open market? I mean if they cite a national security threat as a reason for their banning the books, should we not be concerned about what is stated in the books for anyone and their brother to read?

I'm all for protecting the country and everything, but this seems odd. And now, because of the press on this story, everyone knows about the concerns with national security. Shouldn't that be concerning to national security? I mean anyone can go into a book store and buy books, but this one guy shouldn't read it?

On the completely idealistic and naive side, maybe if he read the books he'd like what he saw and wouldn't be so anti-American. And if he doesn't, well, he's in jail for life so what does it matter?

The AIG Mess

No one would confuse me as a financial genius in my life. But somehow, I think I would understand the difference between "bonuses" and "compensation". This current mess at AIG is not totally surprising. After all, the media has characterized the company as greedy and selfish. Why are all of us surprised that these "bonuses" are being paid?

I do feel a bit bad for Mr. Liddy the CEO as this was all agreed to before he came on board. Imagine having taken the helm during this firestorm. Not fun! But I do feel that now that he is, he needs to find other lawyers for the company, not too mention Sr. Executives. Certainly, in the world of finance there are other "qualified" people. Because these people are unbelievable. If I understand the press correctly, this was done because they were really concerned that they would "lose their best people". Okay, reality check... you needed a $170 billion dollar federal buyot. What makes you think you have the best people?

I understand the concern about shortages of qualified people. As a Clinical Nurse Educator, I see the effects of the nursing shortage daily. But I have to say, that despite this, we as professionals are not willing to hire and maintain people unable to perform to a standard, in my neck of the woods. If we did, people could be hurt. How is the business AIG is in any different?

Now we have a very large company who the government deemed important to save. I am also upset with lawmakers for just handing out that kind of cash without further investigation as to how the company got there in the first place, and how the money would be used. Further, I think any further bailouts for any company should be accompanied with serious strings attached. Any "bonuses" should be under review in a company receiving federal aid and prevented or barred from paying if it would require federal dollars to pay. If the current laws do not support this, well, they are the lawmakers for crying out loud...write new law.

Again, I would never be confused as a burgeoning or experienced economist, but someone somewhere needs to make more sense then there is right now. I have no idea how much each individual is getting as a bonus, whether it's a few thousand or multi-millions. If I understand the press correctly, the bonuses are being paid to approximately 450 financial product division personnel. There has already been $450 million dollars in bonuses given out, $165 million additional due this past Sunday. The base salary for a lot of these folks is $270,000 according the media. Doesn't sound like anyone in this bunch can cry about being poor. As for the suggestion that if they take the bonuses they make a choice between keeping their job or not, ... well let's see... Assuming that I would be facing a choice between multiple millions vs. my $270,000 salary..I'm thinking take the bonus and get out. Apparently no one in a position to get a bonus such as this thinks more about their work than they do about their pocket, if you believe the press.

I say, start fresh. Do what we can to stop the bonuses, for those that we can't stop, review performance and fire as needed. Find new blood and get it in there. Change the paradigm of the company to include a different management philosophy that includes accountability, altruism, and sound financial decision-making, and rewards based on that, not on the fear of losing "good" people, and actually find good people!

New year, New Look - Long post

Well, here we are staunchly into 2009, and I realized that I have not posted a blog in a loooooong time! I simply must get rolling again.

My Aunt (who lives with me now) and I had yet another opportunity to contemplate the benefits of home ownership at the beginning of this month. I came home after attending a Skin conference in Arlington, VA on the 27th of February, only to find my entire Apartment complex in a complete lockdown. I didn't realize it at first simply because the usual exit I take off of 29 North seemed to be blocked with what I initially assumed was a car accident at the corner where I normally turn off. This is not totally unusual for this stretch of the road, so I didn't think much about it and elected to get off at the next exit and go into the other entrance. Well, I got off the exit to find that the gate was locked and cars were parked with their hazards on outside. This is highly unusual, so I started to get concerned. I called my Aunt and asked her what was going on. She told me that the complex is apparently on lockdown because a young girl was on the roof of one of the buildings threatening to jump.

We live in a complex with three 20-story buildings. There are over 3,000 people who live here. And, if you have ever lived in the Washington, DC metro you know how bad the commuting traffic can be. It was already 5:30PM, and no way into the complex to park, and no one directing anyone about anything. Although, Montgomery County Police were there. I could tell at the outset, this was going to be a "lovely" experience. I got into the "queue" of cars going down our street. I have put quotations around queue because it appeared for quite sometime that we actually were in a queue. However, after about an hour and about 50 feet's worth of progress to check it out. So I parked, put hazards on and went to check with the Police Officer standing at one of the entrances. He informed me that no vehicular traffic was allowed on the property. When queried, he gave me no further information as to why. I asked if my disabled Aunt was at any risk inside the complex and he actually stated "Only if she doesn't come outside". When I asked him what that meant, thinking with this that perhaps the girl had a weapon of some sort, he declined to answer. I protested at this. He basically told me to go park my car and walk in on foot, but once in I couldn't come out until it was over. I asked to speak to a shift commander since I really didn't like the attitude and lack of information. He referred me to Montgomery County 3rd District to speak with someone there. I went back to my car and called. Naturally, I discovered that there was no Supervisor there at all. There was also no Public information officer or anyone there I could address my concerns to. In fact in response to one of my queries I was told "It will end with her jumping, or not". To her credit, she was very polite and apologetic. I gave her the picture of what was happening outside the gate and encouraged her to let someone in command know that they literally now had hundreds of people outside the gates all around the block and I am sure they would be an angry mob if no one did anything to alleviate it, or give any information, or come up with a plan better than "go park your car, and walk in".

So, I parked my car hoping that it would not become one of those reported in the www.crimereports.com as a larceny, or as an assault as I had to go back out and down to VA early in the AM. By the time I got all the way to the one gate that was open, there were a lot of disgruntled people. I asked another officer about the situation, and he was very polite...he informed me he was helping from the Park Police. While we were talking a Police Sergeant from Montgomery County barged in and started asking/telling him how and who could drive in. She mentioned about being sure they didn't go beyond a certain point. I tried to let her know that if they wanted to be sure who was allowed in they could check the stickers on the cars, and those of us with a garage spot would have tags on the rearviews. Instead, she just yelled at me and pulled the Officer to the side. They decided that those living in my area could drive in. So I made the trek back to my car, and went to park it in the garage. He let me in, and I finally made it in the door 2 hours after my arrival.

I have decided that this event really requires a letter to the Chief of Police with Montgomery County, the Management, and our locally elected official. I have not in this posting included all the details (by now I am sure you are thanking your lucky stars) but it is a synopsis. There are many questions I have about the failure to plan for the return of so many residents, the lack of information available to the public, and the behavior displayed by the Officers. It is my understanding that all persons including the entire management team, were held in the building and not allowed to leave once the incident began at about 11:30AM. It didn't end until sometime about 10:00 PM. I've heard the excuse was that they didn't want people taunting the girl on the roof. The Management team is going to taunt her, right. Give me a break.

I have real questions about the authority of the Police in a situation like this to come on to private property and impose martial law. I understand the need to limit traffic and problems at the site of the incident. However, I do expect that in a time of crisis like this that better planning and support should occur for the community. It's not like they didn't have several hours before people would have been returning home, and to prepare for it, and coordinate support. Just the night before there was an Officer injured just up the road and we counted over 30 police cars responding. When I was outside, there were only 3 marked cars that I could see. In this area of the country where we do see large scale incidents fairly often, I certainly expected the response of the Montgomery County Police to be better than it was.

As a footnote, the girl was successfully talked down off the roof (the most important thing) and is receiving the help she needs. What we also discovered is that the girl didn't even live here, and she got into the supposedly secure building and managed to make it to the roof. But that might be a story for another day.